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Insults!!!!

For everything that doesn't belong elsewhere.
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Rockerjunkie817
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Insults!!!!

Post by Rockerjunkie817 »

Ok! Post on this page Something on how to Prank! Embarrass! Insult! people you cant just stand. You guys better have ideas on how to embarrass someone, because thats what i enjoy doing and im running out of ideas on that, so let me know. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
.:It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man:.
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Qwerty_86
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Qwerty_86 »

Get a dog collar and leash and tie it to the back bumper of someone's car Clark Griswold style.

Get a condom and put that over the exhaust pipe. Not only will it inflate like a balloon, it'll burst with a nice deafening boom.

Always insult with a "Yo momma..." joke

Put some clear packaging tape on someone's chair sticky side up.

Put Saran Wrap under the toilet seat.
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Evil Blarg
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Evil Blarg »

For the moment I can just thuink of that "subhuman" thing. :wink: But I'll see if I can dig up my "Yo momma" jokes.
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cArmAkAze
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by cArmAkAze »

Walk up, be all like "yo' bitch!", and drop kick them in the face. Guarenteed results!*

*Results not actually guarenteed.
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Evil Blarg
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Evil Blarg »

I think you can take the liberty of guaranteeing those results...
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Rockerjunkie817
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Rockerjunkie817 »

I will have to try the dog collar thing, but the drop kicking someone in the face, hmm i think i might get my ass kicked for that...but its worth a try

.:It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man:.
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Metallica2904
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Metallica2904 »

jim, imma get tophs car with a condom, it will be neat indeed



he'll be all "what the fuck?" :shock: :shock:"who the bastard put a condom on my exaust pipe" :supermad: and such
Pedestrians have the right of way.....Unless they're in the way!
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Mustang
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Mustang »

put some sampoo in that condom so shit goes everywhere also if its the right colour/color it will look like cum
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Forsaken Brolly
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Forsaken Brolly »

if you put a condom on somebody's exaust pipe, would it just shoot off instead of popping?

speaking of condoms, here are some other things you could do with em:

fill one up with lotion and put it under somebody just as they are sitting

fill another one up and leave it in a sink somewhere

fill one more up, and drop it in a public place
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Deep_Blue
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Deep_Blue »

Hmm...

So ya wanna "git" somebody, eh?

Wellnow...DB's ma name and harrassment is ma game.

Seems to me that ya can sure order a lotta stuff for free these days...

Y'know.."demo" stuff and samples and whatnot.

*digs way back inna old "don't ya wish ya were thinking two steps aheada me" files.*

Say ya got somebody ya really wanna piss off-or get even for some slight with..

Take a stroll or a drive around town and look around for somebody advertising "FREE CLEAN FILL" (That's dirt with no rocks and crap in it for the non-landscapers here). Take down the phone number.

Mebbe ya got some farms in yer area that every so often advertize free manure for fertilizer. Find some? Good! Take down the number.

Wait for a day or couple that your target's not gonna be home and spring into action.

Call the manure farmer and tell him you really need a load dumped in your (victim's) front yard for the compost heap your planning to put there. Tell him to back the truck right across the lawn and dump it right on the front porch, as you're going to be remodeling it anyways.



Same with the fill dirt guy. Tell him you'd like about 8 yards or so dumped in your (vic's) driveway.

(It's funnier'n shit when these two guys show up at the same time!)

Now-yer target individual is gonna come home and have a coronary-right there in the driveway.

'Bout then you call up some vacuum cleaner demonstrators to show up 'cause the missus is driving you nuts for a new vacuum and you need them to come out to your house NOW!

Call the Jehovah's Witnesses. They're usually good for pissing folks off...Have them meet the vacuum cleaner people at the door.

Call up nybody who is advertising nything that has a free demonstration and send them to your vic....er, target's house. preferably all at the same time.

THEN call the fire department and report a natural gas odor in the vicinity of your target's house.

Then, to top it all off....Call the police and tell them to send a few officers over because there's a large, hostile crowd at this guy's house and you'd like them dispersed because they're disturbing your peace.

Tell them somebody there has a gun and there's lots of yelling and screaming (which there damn sure will be by this time!).

Make sure you have a semi-far away vantage point to watch the show from with binoculars-don't get close enough so they can hear you laughing your ass off. :lol:

Then let it die down again for awhile and start sending those "business reply cards" ya find in magazines to order shit with-put yer vic's name and address on 'em. Works every time.

Then start the process all over again.



Guaranteed to drive anyone crazy in a fairly short time.

More to follow soon. :wink:
***When I die may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline***
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Deep_Blue
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Deep_Blue »

OK, here's some more "Gittin' even" stuff...

Does your target have a CB radio? I know in England and some other countries that use CB it's FM but it'll work the same no matter what..

Some night sneak over to the dude's place and shove a thumbtack thru his antenna coax cable where it's routed outside his house.

At the very least it'll disable his signal (it'll only get as far as the tack) and at the most-especially if he's running a high powered setup-he'll blow up his amp's finals, the radio's finals (making a right goodly smoke show before he can hit the "off" switch.). Shorting out an antenna'll do that to a transmitter-and RF ain't too picky about where it goes or what it destroys. :wink:

Another thing ya can do is-if yer vic leaves his car unlocked-you can look up the wiring diagrams online for that particular model to get wire color codes (after all-a repair manual read backwards is how to take the car apart, right?!).

Give him hours of frustration-as well as his neighbors, cops, and anybody else after you wire his horn to his brake light switch. (The harness is right under the steering column on just about every car...how convenient!) Last guy I did this to abandoned his car in the middle of an intersection, prolly thinking it was posessed after sitting for a full five minutes at a long red light with his foot on the brake and his horn blaring....Heh..



Hmm...insults....lemme see....For bad drivers-my personal favorite is George Carlin's insult: "You drive....like old people fuck.......Slow and sloppy...."

For just about everybody else-I like to phrase it in the form of a question: "Were you born stupid? Or did you have to practice?" (try out your best Jeff Foxworthy accent for this one..)



Now I know I got some better ones-I guess I just have to be in a confrontational mood to come up with them...





***When I die may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline***
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M®. £üñ¢hßØx
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by M®. £üñ¢hßØx »

I'm proud of this one:

There's a fat chick in my school that's a real dunce. So one day, I decided to convince her to put her cell phone in the microwave. I told her:

"If you put your cell phone in the microwave for three seconds, it shorts out the components the cell phone company uses to track phone calls. And since they'd be shorted out, calls can't be tracked, and that means you get free phone calls."

She was skeptical at first. She asked "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I did it to my phone. Look, it still works."

She went home that day and put her cell phone in the microwave. The most amazing part is that there was no logic that triggered a realization of something being wrong when she was putting her cell phone in her microwave at home.

Her cell phone was in the microwave, and three seconds and a nice popping noise later, her cell phone was destroyed from the inside out. She came up to me the next day, told me it wouldn't turn on anymore. I asked, "How long did you put it in for?" She said "Three seconds."

"That's too long."

She believed me, and didn't hold me responsible for anything.

Couple days later, I told everyone I knew, and eventually the entire school knew about how stupid she was to do that.

Embarrassment, insults, and a rather nice prank all rolled into one.
HAHA OMG I NEVR KNO WUT 2 PUT IN THIS THINGS!!11 LOLZ!111 OMG FUXXORZ IM BAD AT HTIS
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Deep_Blue
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Deep_Blue »

Yeah? But what did she do to you first to deserve that?

I mean, c'mon...at least pick a target that DESERVES the business. :wink:

We assholes gotta have SOME values, y'know :lol:
***When I die may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline***
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M®. £üñ¢hßØx
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by M®. £üñ¢hßØx »

lol Oh, she deserved it. She was so stupid, it annoyed the piss out of you to just hear her talk. The woman's never had an intelligent thought in her life, and yet, she still feels at liberty to express any and all unintelligent thoughts she has. And she can't take a hint when you make light of the fact that you don't want her around. You argue with her about nothing, she still sticks around. You do nothing but insult her, she still sticks around. You make her put her cell phone in the microwave, she still sticks around.

A couple other things I've done to her?

She sits in front of me in one of my classes, and that made these two possible:

1) I unhooked her bra when she least expected it.

2) I cut about three inches off of her hair in the back of her head (as uneven as possible) and she didn't notice until three classes later when someone asked what happened to her hair. She still doesn't know it was me, either.
HAHA OMG I NEVR KNO WUT 2 PUT IN THIS THINGS!!11 LOLZ!111 OMG FUXXORZ IM BAD AT HTIS
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Forsaken Brolly
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Forsaken Brolly »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: damn you dude kill me
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Buzz
road raged psycho
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Buzz »

aww do you have a crush on someone?
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Mustang
Hot Sexy Man Beast
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Mustang »

have sex with her, dump her and then have rebound sex with her
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M®. £üñ¢hßØx
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by M®. £üñ¢hßØx »

She's also fat and ugly, and my standards are higher than that. It could be a problem, but hey. At least I don't have to fuck 'er. :tongue:
HAHA OMG I NEVR KNO WUT 2 PUT IN THIS THINGS!!11 LOLZ!111 OMG FUXXORZ IM BAD AT HTIS
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Evil Blarg
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Evil Blarg »

I cut about three inches off of her hair in the back of her head

You're the guy that does that? Dude, when I had long hair back in school, I'd have maimed you with a bunsenburner.

Some shit sitting behind me back than cut a piece out of my sweater, little triangle, but he didn't once think about trying my hair. I knew he was sitting there and he would be the only one stupid enough. :grin:

God, I love being unpleasant.

have sex with her, dump her and then have rebound sex with her

No no no.

Have sex with her, film it, dump her, film that, have rebound sex, film it, put it online using cleverly cut scenes and Star Wars samples. Oh, and a "Priceless" remark somewhere.
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Rockerjunkie817
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Rockerjunkie817 »

Well, we all have some good ways to get back at people, but i think deep blues idea of having all the people showing up at their house was a good one, also the cell phone in the microwave, at my school theres all this rich mother fuckers that have 400 dollar cell phones and wear 250 dollar outfits everyday, it sickins me. I mean why spend all your money on cloths when theres all that stuff like herowin or crank out there. The other day this big mexican dude threw a cup of mustard at this little preppy kid, the preppy kid was like WTF YOU STUPID MEXICAN THIS IS A 50 DOLLAR SHIT, YOU COULD NEVER AFFORD SOMETHING THIS GOOD YOU FUCKING POOR ASS BEANER. its just rather funny to ruin someones expensive cloths. A good way to get someone in school is get a pack of startbursts or some loose change, throw it down a hallway and when people realize what it is they run and chase after it, its good to have a couple people planned out to run and push people also.



A couple days ago, like Monay or something, this kids had the bright idea of opening up a random class room and chucking a cheeseburger in there, we soon find out it hits this big nasty ass girl named amanda, so it was worth it
.:It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man:.
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Evil Blarg
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Evil Blarg »

Wait, I just heard my nasty neighbour enter and I thought of a new one.

If you life one floor up (like me) and the door opens outward (like ours) and blocks the cast iron stairway up to the balcony (like at my place), this one can really make it look like an accident.

Wait near the door till someone you dislike comes up the stairs.

Wait just a wee bit longer till they're at the top and have one foot up to step onto the balcony.

Swing open the door with all your might.

Hit someone you dislike right in the kisser and watch him tumble backwards down the grated cast iron stairs... (like ours.)

Throw in a "woopsy" for good measure (like I'm gonna do).

If the fall doesn't acrtually kill someone you dislike, you'll have to head down after them, hoist them back up and throw them again.

Repeat as needed.

Be sure to piss on his grave, if you can find it.
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Metallica2904
So fucking what!
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Metallica2904 »

wow.... you guys are fuckin sick. i mean the atrosity of throwing some one down stairs for your own enjoyment just sickens me. if i really wanted to insult some one, i wouldnt cause bodily harm, no no.... id go for emotional harm, like calling some one gay every day for a year then watchin them explode one day and cry......right jim, like we did to todd
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Evil Blarg
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Re: Insults!!!!

Post by Evil Blarg »

I never said it would be for my personal enjoyment. It would be for the protection of myself and more importantly, my girlfriend.

The guy I'm on about (maybe I'll open a bitch and moan topic about it, should I feel I should bother you guys with it) is delusional and has been linked to at least one sexual crime (I have a friend at the police who warned me to keep my door locked).

So for me it would be purely functional, but it doesn't work anyway. The idea is nice enough, but he'll probably just cling on to the railings anyway.

:grin:

I did that emotional damage thing once. It took at least two years to get any results and when we did the guy came after me with a really big knife.

Now he's probably in the same institution as his mother... In hindsight I feel sory for the guy, we were really hard on him, but he had everything going against him. Mom in the looneybin, not too bright himself, he was German (no offense, but kids will grab anything they can), father wasn't all there either...

If I go to hell, this will be the reason.
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