Dear returning Carmageddon fans Image

These last years, the CWA Board assimilated what was archived from many old Carmageddon forums, including the whole of the Official Carmageddon.com Forums.
If you wish to merge any previous account you might have had with your new or existing CWA account, don't hesitate to reach out to us !

Seasons Beatings!

This forum gathers all the official activity that accompanied the revival.
User avatar
Chadwick
pedestrian
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:34 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Chadwick »

To the tune of 'Ding Don't Merrily On High':

Slam, bang! Soon they're gonna die

On the Isle the peds are screaming

Slam, bang! Valhella's gonna fry

For him there's no redeeming

Gorier - my Carma's reincarnate

Drive wild, or take it from behind

Let cows and grans be wary

Thank God the powerup's made them blind,

That score is lookin cherry

Gorier - my Carma's reincarnate

Pray Max, to be first to the line

Your pace must be supreme

May ye proudly redefine

The fastest time e'er seen

Gorier - my Carma's reincarnate
User avatar
Chadwick
pedestrian
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:34 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Chadwick »

Joy to the world! Our Carma's done:

Let backers receive their game!

Let every player prepare his rig

The Stainless coders are ripped

'Cause the game has finally shipped

Coders and punters rejoice as one

Joy to the world! Max Damage returns:

Let revheads be bathed in blood!

Let granny giblets fly, let heads be thrown sky high

The Stainless coders are ripped

'Cause the game has finally shipped

Coders and punters rejoice as one

Joy to the Earth! Misbehaviour reigns

Let Max his horses deploy!

Cover fields in blood, hear the sickening thud

(Alternate Chorus)

Mince meat, mistreat, destroy

Concrete, rebound, oh joy

Body and car parts tossed round like toys

Max rules the game with ruthless pace

And makes opponents prove

The gory V8, will always devastate

(Alternate Chorus)

And blunders will cause pain

Your tracks a bloody stain

Death and destruction upon them rain

(I know, this is #2 - couldn't resist)
User avatar
Ubiquitous Umberto
mechanic
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:13 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Ubiquitous Umberto »

Car horns blare

Are ya listenin?

In the lane

Blood is glistenin'

A beautiful sight

Limbs flying tonight

Walking through the crosswalk unaware

Back and forth go the wipers

And the old folks

Fill their diapers

The car slides their way

And they kneel down to pray

But their helium filled corpses float away

In the city there's a game of football

The players run away the best they can

But it's my car that can run a little faster

And now you can scoop the team up in a pan

See those peds?

They're on fire

Douse the flames

With your tires

They're running in place

These greased shoes are great

But oh dear now my bodywork is trashed

In the meadow there's a herd of cattle

Quite a difference from those circus clowns

Just enable Hot-rod mode and plow right through them

But make sure your car stays on the ground

In the snow

Ain't it thrillin'

To drive around

And kill millions

The white turns to red

As they're caught on your tread

How bout I smash those polar bears instead?
User avatar
Ohnhai
Stainless
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:27 pm

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Ohnhai »

Celebratory..... Good song... Now I just need a chorus to sing it :D
User avatar
Sasquatch Sodomy
pedestrian
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 11:03 pm

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Sasquatch Sodomy »

Here's my rendition of "It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas" - entitled: "I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless"

I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Ev'rywhere I go

Take a look down the street and see, Juicy Jones has it in for me

In his eyes my death is just a better score

I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Not yet a mutant corpse

The most terrible sight to see, is the front-end of Lewie

Covered in my gore

Heinz Faust slides and scoots as Val brakes with her boots

Peds are squished and torn to shreds

Ed takes to the sky, but he won't fly too high

Slaughter Mortar makes him dead

And I go after Stig but kill my stupid self instead

I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Ev'rywhere I go

Then the beautiful trunk of a tree, becomes the newest home for me

Ivan you bastard, your death will set me free

I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

These laps are such a farce

Kill the flagger and Burly Shirley, and screw over everyone right behind me

With an oil slick from my arse
User avatar
'80s Time Warp
Road Warrior
Posts: 1257
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:30 pm

Seasons Beatings!

Post by '80s Time Warp »

Cops have fell/Roadkill Smells (A very bad parody of Jingle Bells)

Sliding round the mall,

with blood all in my grille.

I have a messy plan,

for rush hour down-town.

I got through lap 1

but not through lap 2.

Thats When I got T-boned by some Nut called Max Dam-age.

Oh Cops have fell,

Roadkill Smells,

Max Ran into Ed,

oh What fun it is to race in a V8 powered sled.

A Race or two ago,

I took out someones Pride,

And then Pussy La-Gore,

was ramming at my side.

Her face was mean and frank,

So I Floored the gas,

But I could still see,

She was all on my ass.

Oh Cops have fell,

Vlad Impales,

Don is chasing Max

Oh what fun it is to race down the maim street side-walk.

Cops have fell

Die Anna Smells

Shes going to waste my ass

Oh what fun it is now that Carmageddons Back!

'Tire Screech followed by loud crash sound and an innocent by-stander: "I was in the warrrrrrrr!" - Splat'
Just another '80s Dreamer....
Twitter Manifestation. - Mods for Max Damage.
Please do not use my old/deadname.
User avatar
Krazy_Kroz
pedestrian
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:55 pm

Seasons Beatings!

Post by Krazy_Kroz »

Hope this isn't too late. Not sure if competition closes start of the 3rd or end, doh!

Anyway, here is my version of 'Let It Snow'

Ohhh, the cars all lined up look frightful

But their chrome and spikes look delightful

The peds have got no place to go

Hit turbo!

Max speedo!

Big combo!

The drivers don't plan on stopping

And their exhausts are crackling and popping

A granny crosses the road real slow

Hit turbo!

Max speedo!

Big combo!

Bloodied headlights shine through the night

And the race is going down a storm

The cars go round the corners tight

And the blood on the bonnets stays warm!

As the last ped lies there dying

Max thinks of the upgrades he'll be buying

But first he better finish the race so

Hit turbo!

Max speedo!

Big combo!

Hope you guys had an awesome Christmas and New Year!
User avatar
macacom
turbo bastard
Posts: 320
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2004 9:37 am
Location: Brasil, RS

Seasons Beatings!

Post by macacom »

Ahoy! I chose "Wonderful Dream (Holidays are coming)". I apologize if I've done some bad grammar or vocabulary mistakes, Englsih is not my main language.

Wonderful Carnage

When the world is ever screaming

Like a hot rod engine on

There's a source of evilness in the air

Let the fury flow your brain and the race start

A wonderful carnage of peds and gore for everyone

Of running fast in perfect hamorny

A wonderful carnage of speed and crash for everyone

To celebrate the baddest number one

Now the people's running desperate

Just got Pedestrians glued to the ground!

Holy crap Hot rod and Electro-bastard ray are on with Pedestrian harvest

Motherf***er too much blood I can't see!

A wonderful carnage of wreck and destruction for everyone

Crashed my car into that damn wall

A wonderful carnage of death and laughter for everyone

Don is aiming right at me

Carmageddon's coming

Carmageddon's coming

Celebrate your carnage dreams come true

Speed is the reason it's always a good thing

Whatch out - look around

You're going to be wasted now!

A wonderful carnage of power ups and credits for everyone

You can't beat Solid granite car

A wonderful carnage of waste and crazyness for everyone

Race completed - I wanna do it all again!

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

Celebrate your carnage dreams come true

Driving is the reason I've made it an evil thing
Guardo o mundo na mão: e o mundo que se foda
User avatar
shane
Stainless
Posts: 1080
Joined: Sun May 22, 2011 11:00 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by shane »

Krazy_Kroz wrote:Hope this isn't too late. Not sure if competition closes start of the 3rd or end, doh!
Nope, your not too late!

Please remember that it's only one entry per member - if you have posted more than 1, please edit your posts to indicate which one you would like us to use otherwise your first entry will only be counted!
Ex-Carmageddon Community Manager - Carmageddon.com
User avatar
MadManTony
mechanic
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:51 pm

Seasons Beatings!

Post by MadManTony »

some outstanding stuff guy and girls,

Max is a happy psycho today,

bah fucking fucking humbug
User avatar
lemonrev
road raged psycho
Posts: 1537
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:31 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by lemonrev »

the humbug always humming when you dont need it too... What a pain in the a$$ lol.
User avatar
shane
Stainless
Posts: 1080
Joined: Sun May 22, 2011 11:00 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by shane »

This competition is now closed. Thank you for all your entries! We are currently in the process of selecting a winner and runners up.
Ex-Carmageddon Community Manager - Carmageddon.com
User avatar
shane
Stainless
Posts: 1080
Joined: Sun May 22, 2011 11:00 am

Seasons Beatings!

Post by shane »

Hey everyone,

We've been through all your fantastic submissions and can now reveal the winner and runners-up!

Firstly, the winning entry goes to Ubiquitous Umberto with a twisted version of 'Winter Wonderland'! Congratulations! A Carmageddon: Reincarnation poster signed by the team will be on it's way to you!


Spoiler:


Car horns blare

Are ya listenin?

In the lane

Blood is glistenin'


A beautiful sight

Limbs flying tonight


Walking through the crosswalk unaware


Back and forth go the wipers

And the old folks

Fill their diapers


The car slides their way

And they kneel down to pray


But their helium filled corpses float away


In the city there's a game of football

The players run away the best they can

But it's my car that can run a little faster

And now you can scoop the team up in a pan


See those peds?

They're on fire

Douse the flames

With your tires


They're running in place

These greased shoes are great

But oh dear now my bodywork is trashed


In the meadow there's a herd of cattle

Quite a difference from those circus clowns

Just enable Hot-rod mode and plow right through them

But make sure your car stays on the ground


In the snow

Ain't it thrillin'

To drive around

And kill millions

The white turns to red

As they're caught on your tread


How bout I smash those polar bears instead?



We have 2 runners-up who will each receive a t-shirt of their choice from the Carmageddon Store. The first runner-up goes to Sasquatch Sodomy with a unqiue version of "It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas"!


Spoiler:


I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Ev'rywhere I go

Take a look down the street and see, Juicy Jones has it in for me

In his eyes my death is just a better score

I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Not yet a mutant corpse

The most terrible sight to see, is the front-end of Lewie

Covered in my gore


Heinz Faust slides and scoots as Val brakes with her boots

Peds are squished and torn to shreds

Ed takes to the sky, but he won't fly too high

Slaughter Mortar makes him dead


And I go after Stig but kill my stupid self instead


I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

Ev'rywhere I go

Then the beautiful trunk of a tree, becomes the newest home for me

Ivan you bastard, your death will set me free


I'm beginning to feel a lot more limbless

These laps are such a farce

Kill the flagger and Burly Shirley, and screw over everyone right behind me

With an oil slick from my arse



And the final runner-up is Celebratory_Jiggly_INALD with a not so pedestrian friendly version of 'God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen'!


Spoiler:


God help ye fool pedestrians

if you get in my way,

or if you get to close to my

electro-bastard ray.

You're just time bonuses with legs.

What more is there to say?

O-oh splatters of i-innards and gore.

Innards and gore!

O-oh spla-atters of i-innards and gore.

The track was called the Fridge Racer.

The flagman scarcely died

before Ivan the Bastard went

into a spinning slide.

I rammed his arse into a fir

and out the other side.

O-oh splatters of i-innards and gore.

Innards and gore!

O-oh spla-atters of i-innards and gore.


I'd murdered four opponents and

was on the final hunt.

I gifted Madam Scarlett with

my fav'rite cunning stunt.

I shoved her off a cliffside, then I

landed on the (bitch).

O-oh splatters of i-innards and gore.

Innards and gore!

O-oh spla-atters of i-innards and gore.



Thanks to everyone who entered!
Ex-Carmageddon Community Manager - Carmageddon.com
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